I have not lived in Philadelphia for 20 years, but I am nonetheless a loyal son.  There is only one sort of Philly cheese steak, the kind you find in the city--not the California version--with tomatoes and lettuce.  I love soft pretzels and Tastykakes.  I became a lover of history being born in a city with so much of it, and I am an avid sports fan.  

I follow the Flyers, but not a hockey fan.  I grew up watching the Sixers, but have to admit that I have also become a Suns fan.  I am passionate about the Eagles, but have a dual allegiance to the Niners.  While I have flirted with the Braves and Giants, I have always kept my eye on the Phillies

 This weekend and couple of days have been a series of highs and low.  it is a tale of two teams and the overriding theme is leadership--one team has it and the other one doesn't. 

i watched in horror as the eagles lost to the Oakland Raiders--a team that was supposedly in such disarray that made this game an easy win.  I admit that I counted this game a win before the played the game, but what I saw on Sunday afternoon was a travesty--yet it one that has repeated itself time and time again. 

The coaching sucked and so did the quarterback, and with both it has been a love hate relationship.  I have been ambivalent and even apathetic towards Andy Reid while building distaste for how he and Marty Morningwig calls the game.  Of course, I love it when they win, but it is during the tough games that we see his true colors, the inability to adapt and make adjustments in their play calling. 

My beef with Donovan McNabb is for two reasons, first, I am tired of passes thrown in the dirt, and second, he is not a leader.

Playing the position of quarterback does not make you a leader.  While he is among the best quarterbacks in the last ten years, I refrain from putting him in the upper echelons of great and legendary quarterbacks. 

He lacks what separates a good quarterback from a great quarterback, such as the inability to rally the troops.  It is easy to rally when things are going good, but when the game is tough and you’re getting ass kicked by the other team, you have to reach down deep is what makes a good quarterback great.

Secondly, he takes no responsibility for the action of his team.  For better or for worse, the quarterback is the primary high profile player on a team.  Shouldering the team on your back and will them to go all out for you--instilling confidence in you and your abilities and the abilities in themselves is what makes a good quarterback great.  It also includes getting in the face of our players when they’re not playing well and encouraging them to play better.  It does not include huffing and puffing when things do not go well.

Thirdly, he cannot take the team the distance on the final drive.  Once again, McNabb has proven that he cannot win given the time and space to do it when it matters most.  He could not do it in the Super bowl versus the Patriots when you had the best Eagle team ever, and he could not do it on Sunday when the Eagles had a better talent-laden offense than the Raider defense.  However, I am aware that the offensive line had holes—but I look to the coaches for that.  Moreover, the thing that bothers me most of all, and have since Donovan became an Eagle is his lack of passing accuracy when it matters.  If I see, another pass thrown in the dirt, it will be the death of me.

When I see Donovan huffing and puffing, I look at the coach and see similar disposition.  I wonder why is he not admonishing his best player to take charge of the team and I can only shake my head in disgust.  I think Reid let the wrong player go--instead of Brian Dawkins.

I have few words for Andy Reid and few are of praise.  Yes, he is the winningest coach Philadelphia has ever had, which is a testament to the ability of the Eagles to amass talent, and acknowledge that he does rank as one of the better coaches in the league.

But as I say of Donovan McNabb being one of the better quarterbacks in the last ten years but not among the best, I say of Andy Reid as a coach.  To take a team to the NFC Championship game 6 times is a sign of good coaching, but he only one of those to reach the Super Bowl when he should/could have one more.

I cannot put Reid in the ranks with Bill Cowher, Bill Belicheck, and Tony Dungy because of what happened this past Sunday with the Raiders has become all too familiar with the Eagles. 

The inability to adjust the game plan to the conditions on the field, the inability to manage the clock properly, and the inability to prepare your team to play to its potential every game—no matter the opponent.

Five years ago, I would have a different conversation regarding my Eagles.  It would have been much like what I have to say about the Phillies with one exception…

then there is the Phillies…

You gotta love this team.

I was lukewarm on them last year until they made their run into the playoffs and watched the World Series entirely for the first time in years.  I followed them better this year as I see a team that could repeat their 2008 performance if they keep the core unit together—which they did.

In the Fightin’ Phils, I see a team that does not give up—even when it looks like a sure loss.  I am not just talking about last night’s game, which had me on a rollercoaster of emotion, but this is what they have done all year long. 

And to finally see Brad Lidge step back up…

This is definitely a tale of two teams. 

Usually, when the NFL season comes along, the Philadelphia Eagles dominate the headlines and the attention of the sports fan, but right now—we got nothing but love for our Phillies.

I remember the 1980 World Series, Steve Carlton, Tug McGraw, Pete Rose, and Mike Schmidt. As a kid I’d watch Mike’s milk commercials and wanted a refrigerator full of milk just like Mike had on that commercial.  He still is my all time favorite #20 (Brian Dawkins come in a close second), and third baseman.  

I watched last year’s wet series wondering if Tampa Bay was going to pull it out from under them.  Now, I have a simmering confidence and pride from my Phillies.

And a impatient frustration for my Eagles.

Leadership is the key.

You can tell that the team is steadied by its manager, Charlie Manuel and is spurned on by each other to continue to play better and better.  This team has a no quit and it is not over until it is over mentality.

Teams know that it takes 27 outs to beat the Phillies, just ask the L.A. Dodgers.

Today’s sports climate in Philadelphia is a lesson in leadership.  One team has it and the other one does not.

In Charlie Manuel, you have a team leader that knows how to adapt and change his strategy to maximize the talent of his players.  He trusts his players and believes in them—which allows them to trust and believe in him and in one another.

While I may not agree with all of Manuel’s moves, I cannot deny the results in the last three years.

Players step up and be counted and some prove their worth. 

One of the most unsung heroes is Ryan Howard. The man does not get enough credit for what he does and he continues to perform by tying Lou Gehrig’s record of 8 straight RBI games in the post season.

The Bullpen has been phenomenal with Chan Ho Park and Brad Lidge leading the charge to rack of strike after strikes.

All 25 players had a role in this run, from the pinch hitters to the slugger, Ryan Howard, and the clench hitting of Shane Victorino and Jimmy Rollins.

And you can't forget Senor Octubre, Catcher Carlos Ruiz, the field general of this team.

Let’s go Phils.

V.

If Only...

Ladies and Gentlemen...the United States Congress...

Heh...

Kanye Strikes Again.

Today is Wednesday.  What does one do with Wednesday's?  Is the cup half-full or half empty?

Hmm...  I am inclined to say half empty for the week is nearly done and I have not accomplished much save I managed to transfer some blog subscriptions to my Google reader to cut down on my inbox clutter. 

Okay, well, I think I did more than that but now, I cannot think of it. 

I had my monthly doctor's appointment yesterday.  It was at 9:40 AM and I wrote it down in two places but being who I am, I didn't look at them when I was trying to figure out what time I was suppose to be there.  I did know it was nine-something, so I targeted my arrival time for 9 AM.  I got to the doctors office at 8:47 AM. 

So...At least I was early.

Good news is that my insurance approved of my med prescription that previously only approved it for children.  So there's that.

Today.

I woke up late, having had the gumption to reorganize my Google homepage and Google reader at 11:30PM, and had to rush to get ready in the morning.  I do not like days like these because I am more liable to forget something important.  So far so good though, however if I did indeed forget something, I do not know it yet.

I have already had a few missteps such as opening the closet to get something and as soon as I opened the door I forgot why I was there.  I started digging for something else when I suddenly remembered what I was looking for and retrieved it.

Another misstep was a mixed bag because it came as the result of a good thing happening.  Since I'd been running late and still feeling soggy from the previous day's down pour, I wasn't in a (in)hospitable mood.  Not foul, just, not (in)hospitable. 

(see kids, this is why you should read what you write before you post, lest you give others the wrong intention of what you were tying to say.  I meant to say "inhospitable" not hospitable)

I put on some music to sooth the resident beast within and saw a scene in my story burst into my imaginous sight.  While it may never appear in my book, I plan to write it out and serve it up as exclusive content like the deleted scenes from a movie. It was pretty cool and I hope I can write it out the way I saw it play in my mind.

Storyslut you'd like it. ::nodsnods::

This weekend is organization weekend.  I am getting some blue painters tape, a file cart, and some boxes so I can sort out my crap and organize my room, finances, and the general chaos that inhabits my life.  This is a major component to my inability to organize and structure all my gibberish, ramblings, and crazed writing into a formidable plot.

Why blue painters tape?

 I am dissecting my room into squares so I can focus on one square at a time.  I tried working thought it clockwise, counter clockwise, doing corners, and trying to focus on one objective at a time.  It works, and sometimes it does not.  Trying this way may be a bit better.  Visually seeing the tape instead of imagining sections probably would help me focus better on the task.

Another thing today is that every clock I see has shown a different time in relation to all the clocks around it as if time is out of sync.  Makes me wonder if today is out of sync in a weird spooky sort of way.  What if something happened to created a time shift that disturbed the time continuium and every place/region existed in a different time.  Some back and some forward--not by much, only by a few minutes here and there.  As you go about your day, you pass back and forth into different times. Makes me wonder what would cause such a shift in time... Hmm.....

I find it ironic that as a writer, I have trouble reading books, unless it's about something that I am extremely interested in.

I suck at relationships and the following song lyrics gives a best reason why as I can tell...the only question is...where do I go when I disappear?

You'd better love me while you may
Tomorrow I may fly away
I want your gentle touch
Your continental touch
Your elemental touch
You want me too
Oh, I know that you do
You'd better love me while I'm here
I have been known to disappear
So, don't let this miracle melt away
The clock ticks fast above me
If you think fondly of me
You'd better love me while you may

V.

edit: D'OH! I forgot to put a title...

As I look back at the week and I wonder where has the week gone?  Sometimes the days blurred together into a single whirlwind of activity that I hardly remember what I have done.  When I was updated my facebook status, I saw what I point on Monday and I was looking forward to accomplishing things this week.  Five days later, I find that I have spent the week spinning my wheels...again.

Dodging the self-flagellation, I can only look forward and see how to gain traction and motion next week. 

What I can remember doing this week is reading/listening to the works of Robert Heinlein.  Having finished with The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, Starship Troopers, the Menace from Earth, and a host of other short stories. I realized that I have deprived myself of awesome writing.  While some of them have started slow and nearly caused me to put the book down, they soon jumped to the action (sometime for me to keep in mind) and took hold of me.

I was going to say something else but I forgot what that was...

...moving on

I am considering fun shuei to help keep my room organized.  I cannot think with all the chaos of a messy room and I think that is one of the reasons for my periodic swings of writers block.  I would retreat to the library but I cannot find a comfy chair that I can plant my self in to keep from wanting to get up all the time. 

I really need a nice comfy chair...without the Spanish Inquisition...

I think this is all I got today because it is nearly 2:30 pm and I have been trying to write something all day long.  This is what came out. 

However, I cam grateful for not being word constipated anymore...at least when it doesn't mean talking about my feelings. 

I'm out.

V.

The pitch of my novel to a band of agents was Robert Heinlein's “The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress" meets Star Wars.  The idea came from a discussion I had with a guy at a cafe in San Francisco that wanted to know what my book was about. 

I told him that the was about a young woman, living on a lost colony of Earth, thrust into the center of politics, intrigue, murder, interstellar affairs as Earth tried to recapture what they lost.

He said it sounded like "The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress."

Having heard of Robert Heinlein, but never managing to read anything he wrote, I readily agreed because I thought it was good.  Therefore, I incorporated it into my pitch--having never read the book. 

As I began to research and gather materials to write the book, I realized that I do not know enough nor have read enough to write the book I want to write that will be ready to offer to the public.  So, I started to read Robert Heinlein's books.  Starting with The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress.

I am glad that I finally read this book before I started to write mine because the one overriding notion that I have is that I have only brushed the surface of creating a universe in which my story can take place.

I have been slow in writing because the world-building phase is still incomplete.  Reading this book, I was amazed at the depth of knowledge it took to write something like this.  Sometimes, I overwhelmed by the task of writing Science Fiction because of how knowledgeable its audience is.  Unlike literary fiction, you cannot simply write anything without truly giving cause for the reader to suspend belief.  Nevermind the fact that if you get something wrong in the science aspects, they'll be quick to notice.

I could not help but see how much world building is important to writing science fiction.  In addition, seeing how good world building contributes to good science fiction book, I now realize how much crap there is out there.

I read that it took a few years for Robert to write this book.  I hope to God that it does not take me that look to write this...but I fear it may.  Sometimes I wonder I should tackle something smaller to get my feet wet while I continue to prepare for this epic series, other times I wonder if I bit off more than I can chew.

I often search in a book to find out how it attains its title.  In The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, the scene is set while the protagonists are making their case for Free Luna.  They were weary and struggled against the Earth's gravity, stating that they were not used to it as the Luna is a harsh mistress--being its gravity is only one-sixth of Earth's G, and it caused biological changes and other environmental changes that has produced a society and culture far different from Earth's.

It caused me to think that Science Fiction is a harsh mistress.  Writing science fiction, and specifically space opera, makes me feel stupid sometimes.

Sometimes I feel like Fredo Coreleone, and wanna yell, "I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb... I'm smart and I want respect!"

******

This feels tingly. 

The above entry was the first words I'd written since the last entry.  I have not been writing much.  The reasons vary form succumbing to mood and feelings in "I don't feel like writing", to self-punishment for feeling that way, to distraction--unable to keep my mind on a topic/subject long enough to write it down; to feeling overwhelmed by the largess of the task that I have committed myself too.

However, perhaps today is a break through day.  While I am not writing a story, I am writing--even if it is what I am thinking and feeling.  Perhaps I needed to get this out before I can fill my mind of that story.  I do not know.  Maybe it is just that the synapsis that governs executive control has finally repaired that interchange that allows the free flow of command to my fingers and the rest of my body. 

Whatever it is or has happened, I hope it continues because it really feels good to be writing again, to the point where I cannot believe I went without as long as I did.

Whatever was the cause of my constipated writers block, which I believe to be some emotional issue that has taken over my brain seems to be breaking.  The sunshine of daylight seem to poke holes through the monochromatic moodiness that seemed to have kept me in bondage.

Someone said to me, "Well you just pray about it, give it over to the Lord, let the Him minister to you."

While I appreciate the sentiment in which this advice is given and understand, what the person was talking about this was not what I was looking for nor needed.  I found it hard to express that sometimes my mind wanders during prayer and sometimes I forget about what I was praying.  However, even in that, I am learning to take things are they are.  God knows my mind and my heart, while it may be difficult to express these to other people; I know that in Him there is understanding. 

That is my comfort that used to be my torment. 

While my mind does wander, especially if the sermon or service is not stimulating, I will not think less of myself and think that I am a bad Christian.

There are challenges I still face, many of them are relational. When I think of my family and specifically how to relate to my parents my mind gets all fuzzy and erupts into white noise (the noise that occurs when your TV loses reception--before the days of HDTV), and while I have lots of friends, I can't seem to keep in touch with them.

I was supposed to email a friend of mine and I keep forgetting and like now, when I remember, I put it off for later...which...I end up forgetting.

Nevertheless, I believe every new day is a step forward, gone are the days of endless wandering in circles, retracing paths already marked out. 

In a world where there seems to be a lack of belief, I still believe. Why?  Because there can be such a notion as too much realism.  The reality of life is harsh, by any measure and no matter how much you have.  There is a reason why we indulge in fiction.  The ability and time to suspend belief serves as a brief vacation from the realities we live in and allow us a brief halftime before going back into the game.

::sighs::  I forgot where I was going with this so now I guess I'm done. 

::smiles::

Until next time.

V.